WHAT NORMAL LOOKS LIKE

Normal networks usually get built in two ways.

The first is passive…it’s simply about natural exposure.

As life goes on, you grow up, go to school, work in different places, live in buildings/neighborhoods, and join things like clubs, teams, and associations. You’re in contact with other humans through all of that. You’ll like some of those humans more than others, spend more time with some of them than others, and your network will start to grow in concentric rings of closeness, rooted in the chemistry and relevance you experience with the people you meet along your path through life.

The second form of normal networking is kinetic. Kinetic meaning the networking itself is an action-oriented search for value and opportunity, and the network itself is a resource to build and accumulate.

When we realize that we need to “get ourselves out there,” it translates into action. More outreach. An impulse to attend more events, and the conviction to approach the people we see at those events. A few prepared points and conversation starters about who we are, who they are, and what we’re doing.

A normal network can grow into a large collection of humans a person knows, and it can create a lot of opportunity for you. If and when you need something, a normal network can help you get it.

WHAT GREAT LOOKS LIKE

The difference between a good and a great network emerges from a very simple shift in premise. Networks aren’t for you. You are for the network.

If you have a network and you have needs, doesn’t it stand to reason that everyone in the network has needs?

Other people in the network are running teams and need to hire great strategists and product managers and designers and analytics people. Other people in the network are starting companies and need to find their first conversations, prospects, and customers. Other people in the network need a churn problem solved. They need to find computer fixers. They need a non-creepy clown for their kid’s 4th birthday party.

Can you solve any of that for them?

Great networks are held together by a substance called gratefulness. That gratefulness comes from knowing that members of the network are there to make sure other members are taken care of.

Many people have never seen a great network before because many people have the premise of a network backwards…and thus are not welcomed into great networks in the first place.

Here’s the reality: most people don’t know how to get what they need when it comes to expertise. From a great house painter to a great car detailer to a great product manager or analytics leader or marketing master, people generally don’t know who those people are, where to find them, or how to tell if they’re truly great or just fakes.

When someone needs to find someone great, they aren’t going to just go to Google or LinkedIn. They’re going to go to their network:

These are all things people asked me in the last 90 days.

You see, the people inside of great networks are in a continual state of needing solutions. Sometimes you’ll know the solution. Sometimes you’ll need the solution. Sometimes….you’ll be the solution.

So once we give this some real thought, we can see clearly what a great network requires from its members: a helpful spirit and legibility.

Everyone’s job in the network is to make sure other people are better off. You don’t deserve membership in a great network if you only intend to take from it. And conversely, you’ll be welcomed into great networks if you enter them with the intent to help the network instead of just yourself.

Here’s the toolkit of a helpful spirit:

Authoring

Most people are understandably guarded when you first approach and meet them. Most people want something, even if it’s disguised as a question or an offer to help.

We all get a nonstop stream of this stuff on LinkedIn, and it gives the ick in a big way. This person doesn’t want to help me. They want to help themselves. And that’s what people will think of you if you engage your network clearly looking to get instead of give.

Instead of asking people what they want or asking for something from them, start the matchmaking process with an open invitation for them to come to you.

There are probably a lot of people in your network who are interested in the same things you are, or starting down the same roads you’ve already been down. Write about lessons learned, preferred approaches or tools, and offer to help anyone trying to solve the same thing you’ve already explored.

There are so many topics you can write about, share what you’ve learned, and pay it forward to other people. On Friday, I’ll teach you how to know what to author to create the most value for your network and bring new and existing connections to life.

Sometimes, you can germinate a whole new part of your network by just authoring one thing that teaches, helps people skip steps and tough lessons, and shares your experience and capacity to create value for others. Even in the example above, sharing real lessons from 15 years in the trenches could have helped me and gotten me engaged. Instead, the message above was easy to ignore.

Asking / Anticipating

Once you have real connection with people, it isn’t actually that hard to picture what a person might need. Just last week, it dawned on me that one person in my network might be really helpful to another person who just started a new job board in the product world. She might be able to help solve a very specific problem that I guessed he might have, and he did. They connected that same day to discuss opportunities.

Think about 3-5 people’s needs each week. If you’re close enough, just reach out, ask them what they’re trying to solve for, or take a guess at something they might find helpful or valuable. This is how you keep things healthy in a giving way.

Friday’s session will dive deeper into how to keep other people on your mind enough that you make time to reach out, help, and stay in touch.

Circulating

Have a great person in your network? Let other people know about them:

In addition to authoring and asking about needs (demand), you can just lift people themselves (supply) up in your network. Great people deserve promotion.

Great networks also need members to be legible. Meaning that you need to be understandable enough for people to recommend you, circulate you, and name you as the answer to someone’s need. Most people aren’t as legible as they could be.

Are you a solution to something people might need?

That word, solution, is where people struggle with legibility.

Most people in normal networks don’t fully comprehend what a “solution” is. A skillset isn’t a solution. Years of experience isn’t a solution. Having worked at Google or Meta or Amazon isn’t a solution.

Another person’s need or problem being solved is a solution.

Becoming legible within a network requires not just raising awareness that you know a skill, but instilling confidence that you actually create impact and effect. Legibility is about the things that show you have an actual viewpoint, that reveal specifically when you’re a strong match to a need, and that show the way you’ll solve the problem or help with the need.

Here’s a great example of legibility in action. Nikita is revealing his viewpoint and how he’d show up to solve a problem, not just that he has a skillset. Nikita is showing not just an opinion, but his solution. Plenty of companies struggle to actually form conviction or strong reasoning behind their strategies, and many founders and CEOs are frustrated by this. This is what legibly looking like the answer to that problem looks like.

It’s not just who you know. It’s who knows, and understands, you.

Friday will also dive deeper into how you can improve your legibility, and how you can exchange it with the people in your network. If you could use a hand getting started or are worried that people don’t understand how to introduce and recommend you, Friday’s workshop is for you.

Great networks can also be very casual places (some are very intense, others are very casual, and everything in-between). In-between needs, great networks aren’t trying to wring value out of themselves. People chill the f out and just enjoy each other, knowing that needs have a natural cycle that doesn’t need to be forced. Try to enjoy the people in the network when there isn’t a real need. These are helpful, talented humans that can become lifelong friends.